Hidden Gold Day 1
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"I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in the darkness,
the astonishing light of your own being."
Hafiz
A mandala is a Tibetan Buddhist sacred diagram. It's a visual map which can be understood on many levels. It may be used to conceive of a cosmic ordering or to depict a grounded 'system' such as a family or community. It is also a tool for centring, integrating, and guiding the heart-mind toward presence, wholeness and clarity. Here we'll imagine the mandala as a zone within which we can come to our centre. For many of us, in our core there are positive potentials that we have not tapped. On the outer rim of the mandala there is the distraction and confusion of our noisy mind. We don't have to transcend or eliminate the outer rim, instead we can travel to the centre within and compassionately hold it all in awareness. THIS is the big change - rather than trying to constantly sort ourselves out and struggle against how we are, we instead find the open centre in the midst of it all, which can feel already harmonious and peaceful, like the still point in a turning wheel.
Today we begin with a story (video 1) and with an invitation into mindful presence in the body (video 2 and audio 1).
Much of the time we ricochet around in our heads, generating a self-image habitually through thinking. Often that self-image can feel depleting, undermining and limiting. This can result in self-doubt and feelings of unworthiness. And so we tragically miss our hidden gold over and over again. When we drop out of the echo chamber of thinking and into our wholeness in body, mind and heart, there's another reality that can become available to us.
Of course this might not be easy, you may experience difficult feelings as you turn towards yourself. So go gently and mindfully allowing what is there, without judgement. When we drop out of the head and rest into our basic presence in the body mandala, we feel our innate potential. In Buddhist philosophy our basic nature, when we look beneath the thinking mind's preoccupations, is presence and awareness. If we can connect with 'Buddha Nature' many deeply positive capacities that can lay dormant otherwise, such as wisdom and compassion, shine through.
In this way dropping out of the head and into our embodied wholeness is a doorway to our Hidden Gold at the centre of the mandala. Follow me as we step towards it now.
My invitation to you is to follow the steps below in the order that they're given as each one follows on from the last.
Please begin by watching this introductory video.
Video 1 - Introduction:
In the video I mentioned that you might want to reflect on what words feel right for you when referring to the hidden gold in yourself. Have a look at this Hand of Words. Do some of them resonate more than others? Would you like to adopt one that sits right for you?
Video 2: Mindfulness
We're looking at how mindfulness can create the conditions for us to be more in contact with our hidden gold. What is all important here is the words 'create the conditions'. This is because if we dig down into ourselves and try to get a preconceived idea of our gold out of ourselves with an ambitious, pushy or seeking mind, we'll stay trapped in the thinking mind's agendas. We need to approach this slant-wise and trust being present will do the job.
The practice below will guide you through the following:
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Making an intention to let go of investment in thinking.
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Feeling the presence of the body and all the experiences that are unfolding within it - from tingles to tension, from emotions to blankness. Just notice the changing picture. It's like the shifting of a kaleidascope.
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Taking a stance of receptive listening inwards. Keep dropping your ideas, agendas and opinions and just be there - receptive but not expectant.
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Knowing that 'the receiving' might not happen all at once in an obvious lightbulb moment - although it sometimes does. Often there can be a gradual process of becoming more aware and connecting differently with our feeling world. It may be slow, like a dimmer switch being turned up. It may also not look like how you expect. It takes practice and repetition. Do this practice as many times as you like. It will plant the seeds of a different way of being. Notice any subtle changes in your daily life that stem from it.
Audio 1 - What the Heart Knows:
Although this practice is 13 mins long I recommend setting aside 15-20 mins here. In this way you can finish the practice slowly and work with the follow up questions below. If the word 'heart' doesn't work for you please substitute it for another word of your choice.
Take your time now to sit and muse over these questions. No need to find neatly packaged answers. Just be with the questions and be curious.
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What does the heart (or intuition, gut, core, inner voice) know?
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What matters most to me if I listen within?
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What gets in the way of my this knowing? And can I refrain from judging this and instead hold it in kindness?
If you wish to you might like to journal with these questions. While staying connected to the feel of the practice, doodle a bit, jot down some impressions or write a few words. This will feed in to the next two days.
You, my own deep soul,
trust me. I will not betray you.
My blood is alive with many voices
telling me I am made of longing.
What mystery breaks over me now?
In its shadow I come into life.
For the first time I am alone with you—
you, my power to feel.
Rilke, from The Book of Hours I, 39